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Mallu movies rock

Mallu movies rock
This is the big question that rules every Malayali’s life. If you’re a home-grown Mallu, you will have been asked this question at least once in your life. This question divides Malayalis into two distinct camps and each camp staunchly believes that there’s something wrong with the other side for picking the wrong candidate. What’s the question? Mohanlal or Mammooty?

Good cop/Bad cop: You know how policemen are supposed to be the upholders of law and order? In Malayalam movies, they are the upholders of chaos and bad dialogue. Think of the police officers in films like Pathram, Vazhunnor and Spadikam. All corrupt nincompoops. Remember Spadikam George in Spadikam? He’s the villainous police officer who starts grinding his teeth the moment he sees Adu Thoma. Poor guy tends to be slotted into the debauched police officer’s role in most films he’s acted in. 

Thottunakkals with alcohol – Chances are that one in every three Malayalam films you’ve watched will have this scene. What is it? It is pitch dark and a table has been laid out on the porch or garden. A few men are glugging premium whiskey straight from the bottle. “Thottunakkan onnum ille?” someone, usually an inebriated Jagathy, cries out. A demure woman, usually the hero’s sister, brings a plate of pickle to accompany the Black Label. “Ningakku kidakkan samayamayille?” The woman asks, loosely translating to “Isn’t it time you went to bed?” “Nee akathu kayari light offakki kidanno,” the hero says. “Go inside, switch off the light and go to sleep.”

Our very own wonder woman – Most of you will have guessed who this is. If there is a lady cop in the vicinity, it has to be Vani Vishwanath. Her debut appearance will usually be in slow motion, out of a jeep with catchy music playing in the background. Her hair will be in a top bun and teeth will be extremely shiny. She will deliver dialogue with the fury of a cheetah in pursuit of its prey. What a sight that is. 

No one eats chicken like Jagadish – Have you seen the way Jagadish eats chicken in movies? It’s a sight for chicken-starved eyes. He tears into the kozhi roast with a vengeance, vanquishing it in two or three bites. Here’s a fun fact about Jagadish’s chicken. For some reason, he will ALWAYS be handed the leg of the chicken. Close competition: K.P.A.C. Lalitha. Anyone who has watched the film Minnaminunginum Minnukettu will have this image seared into their memory: a buxom vegetarian sanyasini played by K.P.A.C. Lalitha surreptitiously eating chicken roast in the kitchen.

Good scenes in tea shops and bad scenes in bars – The iconic chayakkada – who hasn’t heard of it? It’s where rumours are brewed and gossip is spread. The tea shop owner is usually Oduvil Unnikrishnan, known for his ability – like any good tea shop owner – to pour tea from unimaginable heights. Don’t know him? If he’s not pouring tea he’s usually playing a chenda with Jayaram. Similarly, if you see a hero entering a bar where a villain is playing cards with dirty women on the back of the cards, you know a fight scene is about to ensue. Which brings us to the fight scenes. They are terribly noisy and detrimental to nearby furniture. Each punch sounds like the earth shaking. Even Superman is not able to punch so loudly. It proves that if it came to a fight between Mohanlal and Superman, Mohanlal would hitch his mundu up and beat the living day lights out of Superman. Just remember that.

By Anjuly Mathai